Columbia University Settles with Student Over Foul-Smelling Spray Incident
New York City – In a saga that sounds almost like something out of a bizarre campus comedy, Columbia University has recently reached a $395,000 settlement with an Israeli student who got himself in hot water after he allegedly sprayed pro-Palestinian protesters with a *foul-smelling substance* back in January. The whole thing turned pretty serious, with the student facing suspension until May, casting a long shadow over what many thought would be a typical college demonstration.
The Incident
To kick things off, this student, whose name remains under wraps, decided that bringing some *exotic* crowd control to a protest was a brilliant idea. The incident was first thought to potentially involve some sort of chemical weapon, supposedly derived from Israel and regularly used in the West Bank. However, Columbia University quickly set the record straight, clarifying that what was actually deployed was something much less sinister: *novelty fart spray*, which the student had for some reason ordered from Amazon for a mere $26.11.
The student defended his actions in his lawsuit, claiming he simply wanted to make a *harmless expression of his speech*. The product in question is called **Liquid Ass**—how charming—though it’s apparently become somewhat notorious for its ability to create a rather unpleasant environment. Nonetheless, some students who were sprayed reported experiencing all sorts of unpleasant symptoms, such as nausea, headaches, and even abdominal pain. One student had to rush to the emergency room, citing “appetite loss and severe nausea.” Ouch.
Reactions and Investigations
Shortly after the incident, both the university and the New York police launched investigations. Columbia’s interim provost, Dennis Mitchell, wrote a letter explaining that students had been *sprayed with a foul-smelling substance* requiring medical treatment—definitely not your typical campus day.
A report that ignited even more controversy labeled the student’s punishment as *disproportionate discipline*. This didn’t sit well with certain political figures, particularly on the Republican side, who have been quick to describe campus protests in support of Palestine as antisemitic. Virginia Foxx, the far-right chairwoman of the House committee on education and workforce, expressed that the entire situation reflects a broader trend of antisemitism in elite universities.
Voices from the Community
But let’s not forget the voices of the students actually affected by this incident. One affected student, who requested to remain anonymous, shared their discomfort with the situation. They highlighted that having to go to the emergency room for something like this is no laughing matter. “If multiple people have to go to the hospital and get diagnosed with chemical exposure,” they argued, “then ‘Oh, it was just fart spray’ is not really a defense to me.”
In the aftermath, they described feeling that the committee’s description of campus protests as antisemitic was not only *offensive* but also minimized the real issues at hand: “My family has been very deeply impacted by antisemitism… and it is just deeply offensive to reduce it to a political ploy.”
Looking Ahead
While Columbia and the New York police have yet to release comments regarding the settlement, it’s clear that this situation hasn’t just shifted the atmosphere on campus but has also raised pertinent questions about free speech, protest rights, and how far one can go when trying to make a statement. In the end, *fart spray* or not, the outcome is a hefty settlement and a lot of stirred emotions on both sides of this heated debate.
